whattodonow Blog

There are times in our lives when it looks as if without the help of some people, we can not get to where God has promised us. I know that most of the time, God still uses men to accomplish His purpose. But my concern is when those people begins to think that without them, we cannot achieve our God given vision and dreams. There is the story of a man who had been paralyzed for thirty eight years sitting close to the water of Bethesda, which was a water dedicated to the healing of any kind of affliction in his days, yet nobody was ready to help him. I am very sure that he has some people who are his family members, but nobody was ready to be associated with him because of his condition. To them, the case is closed. Things cannot get better for him than that in life. But you see, God does not think the way men think; that is why Jesus came to him to give lasting solution to a condition that appeared hopeless. He became healed and could walk with his feet for the first time in over thirty eight years.
Look at the woman with the issue of blood, men gave up on her when she had no money to give away again. That was when she came to Jesus, because, as far as Jesus is concerned, no case is hopeless. A miracle can still take place even when all hope is lost. Don’t give up; your miracle is on the way.
Bartholomew the blind man did not receive much help from those who were following Jesus during the time when he needed a miracle of sight. They even told him to keep quiet when he was making effort to reach out by faith to Jesus Christ. He was shouting Jesus son of David, have mercy on me. Jesus would not respond at first, but because this man did not give up on his expectation, Jesus had to wait just to respond to his faith. I don’t know what you are going through neither do I know how people have been discouraging you from continuing to expect a miracle from God, but I can assure you that if you refuse to listen to them, sooner than you expect, your miracle will suddenly appear. Just believe.
When the brothers of Joseph decided to terminate his destiny, they sold him out, thinking that if only he could be sent out of his father’s house, his dream would not find expression. Little did they know that the God that gives the vision would not leave the vision carrier alone for as long as the vision carrier still believes in the God of the vision. Vision is like a seed; wherever it finds good soil, it will germinate and blossom. Don’t give up even if nobody believes in you now; it’s only a matter of time, they will all come to bow down to you sooner than you can imagine.
Look at our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ, his immediate family members especially his junior brothers and sisters do not believe in him; yet without their approval, he was able to perform more miracles than they ever saw in their lives. Kings came to believe in him and princes were seeking for his audience when he was of age.
Calm down, it’s only a matter of time, your kings will come to you and your queens will nurse you with their goodness. But the problem is, how many of us will be able to wait until the divinely appointed time. Many people have left their divine place of assignment because they could not wait for their time. Many prefer to make things happen for themselves with their hand, but the problem with such attitude is that whatever you make happen will need your power for it to be sustained but if God is the doer of whatever progress you experience, He will sustain it by His power.
IN CONCLUSION, PLEASE NOTE THAT WHEN ONE MAN SAYS IT IS OVER, THERE ARE SOME OTHER MEN THAT GOD WOULD USE FOR YOUR PROGRESS. JUST DON’T GIVE UP.
Men are instrument in the hand of God, if one refuses to be used, God would do what He has covenanted to do through another person. See all men like that and your problem would be solved.

Rev Sam Israel Ajibade
Senior pastor,
Grace Pentecostal Assembly int'l London
www.siajibade.org

Question: How do I relate with my pastor such that I will be able to enjoy the blessing of God on his life?

Answer: This write up is made to answer this question, I believe it will be a blessing to all who read it.

Being a servant of God can be very tasking and challenging. This may be because there are a lot of expectation both from God and the people whom we are anointed to serve. 
According to the main scripture for this writup, a high priest is a man chosen by God as a representative of God among men and the representative of men before God. 
Men believe that the servants of God should be flawless. As far as people are concerned, any other person can make mistake but a servant of God should be above board when it comes to mistakes. How true is this expectation?

Hebrews 5:1
Chapter 5
1 For every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. ESV

Hebrews 5:1
Chapter 5
1 For every high priest taken from among men is ordained for men in things pertaining to God, that he may offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins: KJV

FOR EVERY high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in things relating to God, to offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins. (Hebrews 5:1 AMP)

From the point of view of a servant of God, I can say that we should make every effort to be beyond flaws. We should be the example of the believer in very area of our lives 1Timothy 4:12 says "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

First, in our marriage, your family life should be an example of the life you expect others to live. After all, why should you teach others to do what you do not do. Don't be a Pharisee. Matthew 23:1-3 "1 Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples, 2 Saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses 'seat: 3 All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not."

No matter how difficult it may be, do your best to be an example of the believer. Even if your wife or your husband is not the cooperating type, as a man you should still love her no matter how difficult and as a woman, you should do your best to submit under his authority . This is because whether we know it or not, many of the people who respect us do so with the expectation that our marriages should be a model for them. There is a woman of God in Nigeria whose name I would not want to mention; in the early 90s, her television program is an household Christian program for many of us in Nigeria but because her husband died and she did not know how to manage her emotional life, she lost all the relevance she had. Her relevance is nothing now though she is still alive. What happened was that, after she lost her husband, she got involved with a young man who later divorced her and then she went ahead to marry another man but the marriage did not last. My prayer is that the Lord would bring back her glory in Jesus name. ( I am actually shedding tears as I write about this woman of God) I know it that God does not look at our perfection to use us; however I am also aware of the fact that He expects us to clean up or mess in life in other that we may be a good example of the believer. Just know this as a servant of God that you are representing God by what you do all the time.
The word of God is the secret code for u raveling any problem you might be having in. Life. Love when practiced by a man has power to change any woman and submission, when practiced by a woman has power to change any man. By the grace of God Kama living proof of this fact. As a man, I had problems with my marriage for many years. But on a particular day. I heard a man of God said on the television that love can change anybody. Once I heard it, I was determined to give it a try and to my surprise, all I expect from my wife began to manifest without any kind of struggle and as she begin to submit to me more as a wife, I find myself doing for her what I never thought I would have imagined to do for her. I begin to love her more emotionally and I began to Trust her more; all  because we both decide to do what the scripture says.

The grace of God upon your life is that which helps you to overcome any kind of sin and temptation to sin. Even Jesus was tempted in every way just like us, but He remained faithful to God and His calling, so should you. "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15

To those of  us who are not the servants of God, I would want you to know that the people God uses are still men and women who make themselves available to be used. They are not perfect people, they are only called and anointed to represent God among men. They are MEN and WOMEN with their human weaknesses and frailties. Give them the opportunity of growing up. The call of God upon their lives does not imply that they are mature in the things of God, they are simply persons that God has predestined to use among men. Expect the best from them; but don't be disappointed when you see their mistakes; they need your prayers and encouragement. Many a time, being a servant of God makes them lonely. They are free to see other peoples' mistake but no one wants to see their own mistakes. They are expected to pray for others but most of the time, nobody takes time to pray for them. Who knows, maybe the reason why God allow you to see their faults is because He has chosen you as someone He wants to use for them in their time of trouble. To castigate them and expose their shame is to give the devil more reasons to attack the church of God; however, when you make effort to cover their shame and pray for them, you may be preserving someone God would later use for great exploit. 
Moses was a murderer; Jacob was a cheat and a liar; Peter swear and cursed in the name of the Lord; Paul killed Apostle Stephen, yet God used all of them. Priscilla and Aquila may not be apostles but they helped Apollo to know how to better present the gospel of salvation. "And a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man, and mighty in the scriptures, came to Ephesus. 25 This man was instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in the spirit, he spake and taught diligently the things of the Lord, knowing only the baptism of John. 26 And he began to speak boldly in the synagogue: whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly." Acts. 18:24-26      
God is not looking for perfect people, He is only looking for available people who are willing to be used. 
Moses may have been called with an extra ordinary calling, yet, he still needed the wisdom of Jethro his father in law on how to administer the people and his time for effective ministry. "And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Moses from the morning unto the evening. 14 And when Moses 'father in law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even? 15 And Moses said unto his father in law, Because the people come unto me to enquire of God: 16 When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws. 17 And Moses' father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good. 18 Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone. 19 Hearken now unto my voice, I will give thee counsel, and God shall be with thee: Be thou for the people to God- ward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto God: 20 And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do. 21 Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens: 22 And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee. 23 If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace. 24 So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father in law, and did all that he had said. 25 And Moses chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people, rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. 26 And they judged the people at all seasons: the hard causes they brought unto Moses, but every small matter they judged themselves."  Exodus 18:13-26
You may actually be a spiritual midwife meant to help birth great vision out of the life of that great man and woman of God. It's your choice to either help him get better or help the devil to run him down, the choice is yours.

When we review our leadership performances and evaluation, people often look at the organizational bottom line, but there is another kind of assessment we should give attention to: the leadership bottom line.
Great leaders ask, "How did I develop in my ability to lead others, lead my peers, and lead myself?” But what are the categories or areas of focus to evaluate? By looking at successful, strong leaders, we can gain some insights into what they care about, and it can inform our own evaluation.
One thing in particular seems to mark great leaders – how they view themselves in relationship to others in the organization. Are they there to serve others or to have others serve them?
Great leaders move from "I” to "We” in their leadership.
No one likes working with, or for, a narcissist. Unfortunately, many top leaders fit the bill. It may not be totally their fault, however. Others are looking to them to lead, to take ultimate responsibility for the organization or make the difficult decisions average leaders prefer to avoid. So we expect a lot from them and make them the center of attention.
Others started the venture, and in the early days, it WAS all about them – it had to be! From making sales to designing the support systems to hiring the first employees, these leaders did not have an organization…they WERE the organization.
But the question is, "As you mature in leadership, can you move from I to we?”
Harvard's Bill George says,
"…if we believe that leadership is just about getting others to follow us and do our bidding as we climb the organization ladder, we risk being derailed.”
I have seen the inability of the senior leader(s) to move toward a "we” culture first hand, and it is devastating to the staff and customers alike.
To move to "we” instead of the proverbial "it all depends on me” requires three important shifts in your approach to leadership.

1. Give credit instead of taking credit.

Even when they deserve some of the credit, great leaders pass it off to others. I am working with a CEO who really gets this concept. In the 360-degree evaluation I recently completed for him and his team, it was clear that he deflected praise to the team. In contrast is the senior leader who requires constant affirmation and praise, even when others do most of the real work. This is so demotivating to other leaders.
By using personal notes, e-mail, and public affirmations, my CEO friend gives credit frequently and authentically and does not have to be at the center of the universe. His ability to share success with the team, remind others of their great contribution, and give control to others marks him as a great leader – and his people love him for it.
Want to get the real story about a leader? Ask the people who used to work for him or her. Would they return? Was it a healthy environment? Would they readily partner with them again? Or was the leader manipulative, condescending, inauthentic, self-focused, always posturing, and more concerned with image control? Did he or she readily give the spotlight to others and praise them in public?
Henry Cloud, in his book Integrity, refers to this as a leader's "wake” – what they leave behind after a meeting, a decision, or a departure. In many cases, the character wake is ugly. We have all heard our share of stories of disillusioned staff members who felt betrayed, deceived, manipulated, and outright lied to by a senior leader or manager. And in most cases, narcissism was at the root of it all. The desire for personal praise and prominence left a destructive wake.

2. Share the load versus dumping the load.

Some leaders believe the best way to empower new leaders is to give them a greater challenge. This is a good approach…if the emerging leader has the gifts, talents, and savvy to handle it. But if not, it can be a disaster, and you will be shuffling leaders around the organization or shoving them out the door. I have seen many poor leadership calls in the last few years. In each case, the pattern was the same. Give a newer leader a huge challenge, and throw them into the fire with a slap on the back and a "Good luck…Don't screw up!” This is foolish. It is actually a testimony of the senior person's lack of leadership versus the inability of the underling to perform under fire.
This method may work on occasion but fails when the new leader is not wired for the new job, has no passion for the nature of the work, and is incapable of sharing leadership responsibilities with others. Lots of people drown with this "throw them in the deep end and see if they can swim” approach to leader development. As a result they have no developmental pattern to follow and have acquired no skill for sharing the overwhelming leadership challenges with anyone. So they roll up their sleeves and give it their best – and fail. Such leaders become gun-shy, wondering if they really were leaders in the first place. And the senior leader blames them instead of himself. The result is a climate of fear, disappointment, and steady turnover.
Developing and mentoring people is hard work. And few top leaders take the time to do it well. Most have a quick "teaching session” with a new leader or direct report and assume that will do the trick. They remain in steadfast control of all things, never moving from "I” to "We” as described in #1 above, making all the important decisions and using people to foster their personal goals.

3. Take responsibility for the bad news, not just the good news.

I know an organization that had to lay off 30-40 people (almost a third of the team). People working there were fired with little or no warning. Some of this was done in response to the bad economy. But it was clear from insiders and outside observes alike that a big part of the downturn was the result of poor leadership decisions. Senior leaders had ignored many warning signs communicated by employees and had not listened to what the market was saying for years. As Jim Collins describes in How the Mighty Fall, hubris was at the core of the problem. There was an inability to see the truth because of self-obsession with past success and personal agendas (instead of organizational realities). As a result, it all came crashing down.
When it came time to make the layoffs, the Chairman and the President both were absent while the bad news was communicated. It was hard for employees to believe. And upon their return to town, at the first gathering of the shell-shocked survivors, there was virtually no processing of the layoffs. The Chairman did not even have the courtesy to show up. It was a major trust-buster, and the survivors have lost much of their motivation.
When courageous leadership was required, there was none to be found.
But when there was good news to report, they were there to communicate it and celebrate it. Rightly so. But leaving the bad news and tough conversations to others left a major stain on the integrity of the leaders involved.

There is a famous quote by Henry Ford that says, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.” Whatever you believe of yourself, your actions will follow. Maybe you do not think highly of yourself due to past failures, poor choices or just plain low self-esteem. The good news is that there are ways you can boost your confidence and become that successful person you always dreamed of being.

Boosting your confidence does not happen overnight. It takes hard work and discipline on your part. If you stick to the plan, you will experience the reward of a confident demeanor and an enlightened outlook on life.

Below are some helpful ways you can boost confidence in yourself which will carry over into various areas of your life. Some are very practical in nature while others come deep from within. Arthur Ashe, the world renowned tennis athlete once said that the most important key to success is self-confidence, and the key to self-confidence is preparation. Let’s get started:

1.) Get to grooming

This may seem like one of the most obvious ways you can boost confidence, but it is often the one least done. Improving your overall hygiene and appearance will make you look and feel great. Hair, nails, a clean shave and tan can get you moving in the right direction.

2.) Change your wardrobe

Remove the outdated and frumpy clothing and move in a few nice pieces that show off your assets. If a $500 suit is not in the budget, pick up a few casual pieces that fit you nicely and reveal that you are ready to take on the world.

3.) Annihilate negative thoughts

Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones and move forward. Try not to focus on past failures and what you did wrong, look to the future and what you can do right. Begin envisioning things you want to accomplish and goals you long to fulfill. Before long, you will be seeing these things come to fruition.

4.) Live out your principles and beliefs

Do you have beliefs and principles that your life is built on? If so, stand firm and see those out. When trouble comes your way, don’t throw in the towel, but rather focus on what you believe in and move forward. If you are spiritually minded, now is the time to trust in what you believe in and build your self-confidence.

5.) Focus on solutions, not problems

Rather than focusing on all of life’s problems or what you see wrong in each situation, flip the script and emphasize a solution. If you are a complainer by nature, it is time to redesign your mind and change your focus.

6.) Stand up straight

This is something our mothers have always told us. Standing tall helps us to feel better about ourselves. Not only is it good for our back, but reveals how much self-confidence we have. This is one of the easiest and best ways you can boost confidence without even trying.

7.) Hit the gym

Exercise is good for the inside and out. Not only will your health improve, but your body will begin to take shape and your confidence will soar. Exercise can be highly empowering because it causes you to feel better about yourself. Start making this one a habit today. It is never too late to begin.

Through a few simple modifications you can change the way you think, feel and act. These are just few ways you can boost your confidence, but they are highly effective and worth doing.

culled from loosing weight magazine.

13 This wisdom have I seen also under the sun, and it [seemed] great unto me: 14 [There was] a little city, and few men within it; and there came a great king against it, and besieged it, and built great bulwarks against it: 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city; Eccl. 9:13-15a

16 Then came there two women, [that were] harlots, unto the king, and stood before him. 17 And the one woman said, O my lord, I and this woman dwell in one house; and I was delivered of a child with her in the house. 18 And it came to pass the third day after that I was delivered, that this woman was delivered also: and we [were] together; [there was] no stranger with us in the house, save we two in the house. 19 And this woman's child died in the night; because she overlaid it. 20 And she arose at midnight, and took my son from beside me, while thine handmaid slept, and laid it in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom. 21 And when I rose in the morning to give my child suck, behold, it was dead: but when I had considered it in the morning, behold, it was not my son, which I did bear. 22 And the other woman said, Nay; but the living [is] my son, and the dead [is] thy son. And this said, No; but the dead [is] thy son, and the living [is] my son. Thus they spake before the king. 23 Then said the king, The one saith, This [is] my son that liveth, and thy son [is] the dead: and the other saith, Nay; but thy son [is] the dead, and my son [is] the living. 24 And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king. 25 And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other. 26 Then spake the woman whose the living child [was] unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, [but] divide [it].6 27 Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she [is] the mother thereof. 28 And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had judged; and they feared the king: for they saw that the wisdom of God [was] in him, to do judgment. 1 kings. 3:16-28

12 I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions. Prov. 8:12

This world is full of problems and men everywhere are looking for the way out of different problems they find themselves entangled in; the governments of different countries all over the world are looking for ways to find lasting solution to the global financial crisis they have found themselves in; marriages are collapsing now more than ever before in the history of mankind. Everyone is faced with the need to have the right answer to different challenges with which they are faced every day. Chairmen and the board members of big corporations are constantly looking for ways to stay afloat in the volatile business environment of today. The advancement in technology makes it imperative for production managers and the marketing executives of different companies all over the world to be on their toes looking for how to make sure that their newly invented products are not made obsolete by other companies and new discoveries.
But what they all do not know is that there is a spirit in man… which is the connector to the Almighty God through whom they can have access to divine up to date creative wisdom not only to stay afloat but to excel all the time. Marriages would be a peaceful experience if we can only connect to the divine wisdom of God for our situations. There is no problem that God's wisdom cannot solve. No challenge that can surpass the solution bank of God called divine wisdom. However what we see is that many people would rather prefer to scramble through life living by the suggestions of their so called experts. The word of God says that there is a way that sees right unto man but the end thereof is destruction; however the same word of God say that when you commit your ways into the hand of God, He would direct your thoughts and ways. Looking at the scriptures quoted above in Eccl 9, you would discover that though that country may be small but with divine wisdom of God which came through a poor but wise man, the small city was able to defeat the big city. Though we are not told what the man told them to do, but we are sure whatever he told them to do really worked. The word of God says you should fight your war with wisdom instead of strength. Looking at how King Solomon was also able to solve the impossible problem brought to him by two prostitutes, you are able to see that with the power of God's wisdom, no problem is too difficult to solve.
The world leaders are suppose to seek for the divine solution to their country's problem by identifying those whom God has given this divine ability to, and asking them for the way out. Don't forget that in Jer. 33:3 God says when we call upon HIM, he would show us great and mighty things that we have never known before. Divine solution is with God. Knowing God and operating by His word is the pathway to gaining access to this creative wisdom we are talking about. However, for you to gain access to this divine ability, you would have to do the following:
1. Give your life to God through Jesus Christ. He is the savior of the world and coincidentally also He is the embodiment of God's wisdom. That is why 1 cor.1:24 says that Christ is the wisdom of God… what that means is that when you accept Him into your life, you are willingly accepting the wisdom of God into your life.
2. You must begin to fellowship with other believers so that you can sharpen your divine ability to access God's divine wisdom from within you. Associating with other believers is a great way to mature in the use of God's wisdom within you.
3. Begin to study THE BIBLE daily. The reason is because the bible contains the word of God and the more your heart become acquainted with the word of God, the easier it becomes for you to gain access to the WORDS OF GOD THAT ARE NOT DIRECTLY WRITTEN in the bible – which is the wisdom to solve problems that may come your way but for which you may not find direct reference in the written word of God.
4. Make it a habit to continually think the word of God. This is what is called meditation. Thinking the word of God would help to re direct your mind towards how God's word sees things and that would help your mind to be able to easily receive God's wisdom when it is spoken into your heart by God's Spirit.
5. Seek for godly counsel. The bible says that in the multitude of counselors, there is safety. You are likely going to be directed through counseling from people who also have access to God's Holy Spirit. That is why it is good for you to make your circle of friends to consist of believers in the word of God. That does not mean that God cannot use those who do not know Him to speak to you; he can use anyone to give you wisdom. In fact, sometimes, when God is using them to speak to you, they may not know that they are being used of God but you would know because you have God's spirit in you and you know what you have asked God to help you understand.

6. Keep constant link to God through prayer. Prayer of the saints carries tremendous power. God is willing to hear you talk to Him always about your problems and challenges. He is your loving father. He longs to hear you talk all the time to him. So make a good habit of talking to Him always. I know that He is not a physical being and that sometimes give some people serious problem because they are asking " how can I be talking to someone I do not see”. The truth is that once you have given your life to God through Jesus Christ, your spiritual eyes are actually opened to see him in your heart. So, as you practice talking to Him, you would be shocked that He would begin to speak to you back. Try it today and you would see that what I am saying is the truth.
7. Lastly, be ready to always think outside the box. Dare to explore the terrains that men says are not possible. Many a time, possibilities wait for us where no other man would dare to enter. There is no harm in trials. I know that sometimes, these trials may cost you a lot of money but don't forget that once you discover the answer, the reward would also bring you great gain also. So dare to think outside the box. There to believe that what men says is impossible is only waiting for you make one more trial and you would be shocked at the result you would have.
Don't forget that creative wisdom is divine solution given to the believer who seeks to know them at every time there is a problem to solve; hence, it is not a preconceived wisdom neither is it revealed until the time that it is needed. So, you would have to constantly wait upon the Lord for you to get it at every stage of your life. But don't forget that there is no problem that you through God's help cannot solve. There is no mountain that you through God's help cannot climb. It is your days of solution. It is your season for triumph. Rise up to the challenge. You can never be put to shame in Jesus name.

You are not married not because there is no man ready for marriage as a good number of men are looking for life partners. The major reason Nigerian men are now scared of marriage is waywardness. Men are now afraid because they don't know who to trust and also not sure if that beautiful girl they are interested in still has her womb intact.

They are also afraid because of the high mountain ladies have suddenly placed themselves on as no woman wants to date a poor man any longer but are all interested in those with good cars and houses.

A man recently told me why he does not allow his girlfriends to come to his house. According to him, he doesn't want a case where a girl enters his house only for her to refuse leaving because of the beauty of the house and cars she will see.

Isn't it surprising how single ladies now out-dress married women with good jobs whose husbands are very rich? You are not married because the single men around you are wondering if they will be able to meet up with your ever-demanding lifestyle. Even when they know they can afford it, what makes them believe you won't take a walk tomorrow if anything goes wrong?

Another reason is that with your good job and salary, they are even afraid to come near you as they wouldn't want to be turned down.

I have a female colleague, a very pretty girl who lives in her own house and drives a posh car. She also has different businesses to show for it. Recently, I advised her to calm down a bit as friends I introduce her to who ordinarily would have gone for her, all run away after meeting her and come back to me with the same word, "Amara, this one go send me go village.”

Another reason you are going to grow old in your father's house is this: You want a ready-made man instead of a growing man with vision. Are you aware that if you have not obtained favour from God, the man will decrease instead of increasing when you enter his house? Work on your character, the words that come from your mouth, your lifestyle, the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, the places you visit and then spend time trying to find favour before God because it's only favour that can make your husband increase the moment you step into his life.

In fact, the moment a man proposes to you, there must be some positive movements in his finance if at all you have obtained favour.

It is never your duty to find a man. While he is working trying to raise money to sustain whoever he takes home to his mother, you should get yourself busy obtaining favour from God for you to be his source of blessing. A man knows when the wife is a source of blessing and that is the only time he cherishes you.

In the previous paragraph, I said the man should take you home to his mother. I don't understand why you get married to a man who believes it's just between the two of you. Read the Bible; they all took their wives home to their mothers. If a man cannot take you home to his people, something is wrong. Isn't it surprising how many of us are married without knowing our husband's village and his mother's bedroom? Marriage, in the African culture, is not between the man and woman alone, the two families must be involved.

Hey, you have to stop moving from one prayer house to the other in search of miracles that are not coming even after you might have emptied your pocket. Go back to your room; deal with your character and bad nature that is filled with pride and disrespect for the elderly. Cut down on frivolities and that is not all, deal with your party and aso ebi spirit. You must also deal with that thing that gets you to aimlessly move from one end of the street to the other all in search of precious souls to destroy. Change that mentality that says you use what you have to get what you want; any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable and irresponsible as you are.

Common girl, go deal with yourself first before you start blaming your step mother of being the one keeping you down. Stop blaming your neighbours and friends of standing on your way to progress. I just told you the bitter truth which your Alfa, Babalawo, pastor and Imam may never tell you. Stop wasting your time chasing shadows, go and deal with yourself first before complaining.

I know of a wonderful lady who sings so well that when she comes to lead in worship, miracles take place. People love her, but this lady is unmarried till date. It is not because men don't go to her for marriage or because she is ugly; her number one obstacle is her character. They say there are many old single ladies in our churches; I think I know the problem and not that most of them wasted their lives in frivolities only to realise the last minute that they have to run into the church where they can get a brother to marry.

I am not trying to judge anyone's past, but the issue is that even when they join those churches, their characters don't change. It's really appalling how some ladies talk to men simply because they are in the same church. Some of them fight everyone in their department in church while some live their lives begging from one member to the other.

What do have to say about ladies who fight for food during church meetings? Those guys would be foolish to see the stuff you are made of and still go ahead to take you home to mama.

I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere; its either spiritual or attitudinal, but the truth is that it is always more attitudinal than spiritual.

You have been fasting and praying and going for all levels of deliverance but it seems nothing is working. What is your character like after all the prayers and religious devotions? It is sad when I see a single girl walk up to a married woman sitting with her husband and telling the woman to get up because she was there before her. You attend functions with extra bags to pack food and drinks and when it's time to hit the dancing floor, you do that as if there is no tomorrow. What do you expect from life when you are the source of all quarrels in your neighbourhood, church and office?

This is the moment of truth and if at all you want to be delivered, your decision to deliver yourself is the first step to your breakthrough. culled from PM magazine dated 22nd sept., 2011

Stress can be defined as pressure; constant worry and nervous tension. In the United Kingdom for instance, it is a known fact that one out of every eight people are suffering from one kind of stress or another. With the job loss going on right now; coupled with the financial loss through negative returns from the stock market; increase in divorce rate; strategic higher cost of living and many other personal reasons; many people are on different kind of medication that can be traceable to stress reduction and control. But according to God's plan for mankind, stress is not meant to be an enemy but a booster toward greater productivity. The only reason why it is now a silent killer is because the devil has perverted its purpose; but through the write up, I see you receiving freedom in Jesus name.
Stress is nothing more than psychological pressure placed on a person by reason that is either physical or perceived. In other words, stress can only come and take over your system if you allow it. There are different ways to combat stress and overcome it; some of the ways are:

1. Since stress has many things to do with the way you think and the way you think is a function of the way you perceive things that are taking place around you, then if you can learn to read positive meaning to events that ordinarily should make you afraid, then your tendency for having stress will be reduced by nothing less than 40%. Fear has the acronym as False Evidence Appearing Real. More so, it has been proved that over 80% of the things we all fear never happen. Hence if we can allow PEACE to REIGN in our hearts, then our tendency for having stress would be greatly reduced. According to the Bible, one major way to control what you think is to fill your heart with the knowledge of the word of God so that whenever anything happens, you would be able to see things with the Bible point of view. Have you notice that the state of your body responds to your thoughts. That is why when either you hear or perceive a bad news, your body becomes uneasy. You start shaking and become disturbed. But if you are cast down right now but suddenly someone brings good news to you, your body will suddenly "resurrect” from its dejected state because of the news that comes to you. That is why it is good for you to shield yourself from bad news and consciously expose yourself to good news. One sure channel for getting exposed to good news is through the READING and MEDITATION on the word of God.

2. Believe in God's sovereign power to turn every disappointment into divine opportunity for you. It is true that many things that happen to you may not be good but with your faith in God, He can make what the enemy meant for evil in your life turn to good. That is why the Bible says "28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose,” Rom. 8:28. God never does evil; but whenever the devil does any bad thing in your life; our God can make every plan of the enemy turn to foolishness by making them your opportunity for supernatural turn around. Do you know that whenever the enemy is planning on how to do any bad thing in your life; God is busy thinking on how to shame the devil by turning it around for your good? But do you believe He can do so? Don't forget that it will be unto you according to your faith in God.

3. It won't be bad if you find someone you can confide in who is ready to hear you talk. Talking is one of the ways to release your tension. Look for someone who is interested in your welfare and spend time telling him or her about your concerns. In case you do not find anyone you can confide in, then, talk to yourself in a place where you would not be looked at as a mad man, preferably in a public place. Just release the things that are making you feel tensed up into the air. It works like magic, just try it. I remember many years ago whenever my wife makes me feel angry, instead of fighting her at home, what I normally do is to take my shirt, go out and express my anger to her in her absence on the street; by the time I get back, my temper would have subsided. If not, it is possible that I may grow angry with her and raise my hand to beat her and that is what I have vowed would never happen between me and her.

4. The word of God says, "15 Let the peace of Christ be in control in your heart (for you were in fact called as one body to this peace), and be thankful.” Col.3:15 from that scripture, it becomes clear that if peace will manifest in my heart, I must work on making it happen. Another scripture says "18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people” Rom. 12:18 so you will discover that YOU MUST ALLOW PEACE TO REIGN IN YOUR HEART if you want to be free from all forms of stress.

5. As much as possible, avoid negative presumptuous thoughts in your heart. We all still fall victim of this problem; but the truth is that the more you are able to clear your heart from negative presumptions, the easier it will be for you to maintain the peace of God in your heart. Stop imagining that evil will take place or that someone is going to deliberately do evil to you. Even if they eventually carry out evil plans against you, the fact that you never spent your time imagining it will help you to have a clear conscience to be able to know what to do. Even in the Bible, God continuously tell His people to BE STILL and see the salvation of the Lord. Being still means to hold your calm with positive expectation. In any form of sporting activity, calmness is a major factor in preparation for success. If those who desire success can take calmness seriously because they know that the only thing that happens when tension is allowed in the camp is that the athletes would begin to make stupid mistakes. To succeed in life, know that there would be mistakes and disappointments on your way; but as you focus on the reward of service, you would not allow your setbacks to drag you to the back. Instead, you would use them as tools for learning how not to approach the issue next time. God would help you as you make effort at leaving a stress free life in Jesus name.

6. Lastly, it would be a good idea for you to give your life to God through Jesus Christ. He is the prince of peace. In fact, He himself said "27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; I do not give it to you as the world does. Do not let your hearts be distressed or lacking in courage John. 14:27. Moreso, in another part of the scripture, Jesus is called our PEACE "14 For he is our peace, …” Eph. 2:14. I am sure you also know that the only antidote to a stress filled life is PEACE OF MIND and that is what Jesus promises those who come to him for help. Consider giving your life to Him because when you do, He will not only give you the power to control yourself emotionally, He would help you to overcome any form of tension that may come your way every time.

For further counseling, prayers and inquiries, you can get to Rev Sam through this number +447944654089 or send him a mail through samajibade123@gmail.com. God bless you continually. - culled from PM news dated sept., 22 2011

YOUR DEBT CANCELLATION SECRET REVEALED
When you find yourself in debt, you must understand that you do not get there in one day; certain signals must have been coming up for you to know that some things are not going on well. But maybe you ignore those signs and now, you are deep in debt. First, you must understand that to get out of debt requires both God's divine intervention and your own determination to get out of your debt.
Let me deal with these two sides to your debt cancellation experience one after the other.
First, let's talk about the GOD FACTOR. When you find yourself in debt, you need God's supernatural intervention to get out of it. Why I bring God into this discussion is because many a time, the reason why you find in that debt situation may be due to demonic interference in your financial matters. Where I come from in Africa, agents of darkness can cast a spell on someone's business and suddenly your customers starts finding fault with your product; many of them would start giving you part payment and because they are your old time customers, you will keep giving them new stock of goods only to discover that they are owing you so much and though they are not denying owing you but they are not able to pay you as at when they promise you. You soon discover that majority of your business funds are in the hand of your customers but you have nothing to do business with.
Maybe, you also collect some of these goods on credit and since your customers are not paying up, you begin to have negative balance in your account with your supplier. Soon, they stop supplying you with goods and are demanding for you to pay up their money in your hand. Under such circumstances, you will need God's divine intervention to recover the debt. Sometimes, it may mean that God would have to connect you to another divine idea that you can trade with and make profit so that you can pay up your creditors. And soon, those who owe you will also begin to start paying up that which they owe. But you must be ready to take the following steps:
1. Dedicate your life to God through Jesus Christ. Become a child of God by accepting Jesus Christ into your life. God is keenly interested in His children's success. So become one of us today.
2. Seek deliverance. I mean, seek to know whether there is any spiritual stronghold operating against your business. Jer.33:3 says "3 ‘Call on me in prayer and I will answer you. I will show you great and mysterious1 things which you still do not know about.'”
3. Seek divine direction concerning the ways out of your debt situation. In 2kings 4:1-8, a woman was in so much debt that the creditor came to carry her two sons as slave; but she went to the man of God to seek for the way forward and God gave her divine idea that multiplied her earnings so fast that she was able to pay her creditors within one day. I believe that we serve the same God; therefore, i believe that if anyone would seek Him for the way out, God would intervene in the situation and the debt shall be paid. One major problem I see many people have is that we are very lazy when it come to prayer. In fact, some people would prefer for the man or woman of God to pray and fast for them. But if you want lasting solution to your debt situation, then you have to know how to talk to God by yourself concerning yourself.

4. Make up your mind that you would start giving to God at least one tenth of your profit (10%).
It is what is called the tithe of your increase and God has always demanded for it. Give to God what belongs to God and see God give to you whatever it is that belong to you in the hand of men. God has said that when men give Him their tithe, He will open the windows of heaven for good blessing to keep pouring down on the obedient children of God.

Now let's consider what you would be expected to do as a man who finds himself in debt.

1. Sit down to calculate how much you have outside as your outstanding debt in the hands of others.

2. Make conscious effort to see each of your debtors one after the other discussing their debt situation and how they intend to pay you back.

3. Take stock of the people who owe you and also consider their debt repayment capacity. This is important because sometimes, it is better to collect 80% of your debt than to have access to 0% of it. So, if the person can pay you the money by installment, agree to it and make sure that he or she also respect the agreement. This you may do by involving some form of legal documentation and the services of a lawyer, depending on the amount involved and the level of integrity of the person you are dealing with.. You can even give them the option of discount if they can help you repay the money within a particular period of time. The whole idea is this: it is better for you collect 80% of your outstanding money on time than to be arguing over the person's inability to pay at all. Giving discount has been found to be a great booster to debt recovery. If you use it, you will thank God for it.

If you are the one who is owing others and you are seeking to know what to do; you can follow these guidelines for your freedom from debt and the restoration of your human dignity:
1. There is an adage that says "if you find yourself in a hole and you intend to get out, then, stop digging.” What that means is that you should stop incurring more debt if you intend to get out of debt with time.
2. Take time to study your expenses pattern. You will be shock to discover that many of the things you buy on credit are not the things you actually need. Consciously look at your purchase list and make conscious effort to separate the things you NEED from the things you only WANT for comfort and sweet life. If you are in debt, then that means you are already spending more than what you could earn; so cut your expenses to match up with 90% of your income. If you are convincing yourself that you need everything you are buying now that bring you into this state of debt; then you are not ready to get out of debt. Getting out of debt is like giving birth to baby; it involves hardness, pain and self denial.
3. Show me your friend and I can use them to predict your future. Everybody always copy the attitude of whomever it is you like and respect. If your friends are reckless spenders, then you would need to stop relating with them as close friends and look for those who have control over their spending habit and soon you would be like the friend you move close to. Fior further inquiries, you can call +447944654089 or send me a mail through samajibade123@gmail.com. God bless you as you take step to get out of your debt ridden situation.

One of the secrets of productivity that I have discovered is the SECRET OF POTENTIAL DISCOVERY. There is a a magic that works with discovering your employees potentials. The secret is to take time to discover their areas of strength and to use them in the area where they have comparative advantage. Many people can do many things in their organization, but there is always one thing each of them can do better than others. If you can take time to discover what each of your employee can do best and you use them in that assignment, you would discover that their productivity will be higher than ordinary. So, as an employer of labour, or a supervising officer in an organization, take time to discover the unique potential of your staff and deploy what you discover in them and you would find yourself leading a set of self motivated worker or followers. An average person can spend more time doing what they love even when they are tired. So, to get the best out of your followers, please follow the steps I will outline below:

1. Do not make academic qualification your greatest criteria. Your greatest criteria should be the ability that someone has especially as it relates to the problems such person has solved in the past and how far such a person can work under minimal supervision.

2. Just as every world leading organization trains their employee so that such person can know the uniqueness of the organization and how to fit in into the already established system of operation in the organization; take time to organize training programs for your followers or employees. It depends on how you want to go about it, you may chose to make it an on the job training in which case the employee or follower is shown what to do as he or she observes another person doing the same thing after which he or she is also allowed to practice what he has seen another person done. From my experience in leadership, i have come to discover that there are many things that people would not understand especially as it relates to the work of God until you allow them to be part of those who are doing it. i have discovered over the years that those who are more critical are those who have not done anything at all. Mistake is part of training. So don't be discouraged because you make mistake. In fact, the mistake of today is a pointer to what you desire to achieve but for which you still do not know how to go about it. World achievers are men who learn from mistakes; either their own mistakes or the mistakes of those who have gone ahead of them.

3. Embrace the attitude of appreciation. I know from experience that it is easier to spot the mistakes of those who are working with you than to find something such a person has done well and appreciate them for it. However i have also come to discover that people tend to want to do more when the little effort they have put into your vision or assignment is recognized and appreciated. It is true that for many of your employees or followers,  their mistakes count for 98% of their performance while what is worth appreciating in their life is not more than 2% of their effort.. So, cultivate the attitude of finding something good that your subordinate has done and appreciate them for it. It is a mystery but it is true that anything you appreciate usually multiplies while you find whatever you rarely appreciate diminish. So, what do you want? For the employees or followers to become nonchalant about the assignment or to become so involved that others think that they must be your family member simply because of the level of commitment they are putting into your assignment.
Appreciation can also be in the form of giving of gifts to the most outstanding employee or follower among your team. This will encourage others to want to put in extra effort so that they also may be able to win the prize set aside for exceptional performance. Whatever pattern you will comfortable with is what you should use; the most important thing is to make sure that your followers feel appreciated.

Hello sally, now that you have discovered that your husband is having an affair with your friend; the question is: do you want to lose your husband to your friend? if your answer is yes, then you don't need to write me in the first place. just send your husband out of the house and i can assure you that your friend would not hesitate to open her doors to your husband. However, i believe that the reason why you write me is because you do not want your friend to snatch your husband. according to the word of God which i believe in so much, God's word says that a good woman build her home while a foolish woman tear her home with her own hands. In the light of this revelation, i would like you to behave as a wise woman by not doing anything that would make your husband start sleeping outside the house on any day. The fact that he is still coming home means that he still loves you or at least, he still has respect for his marriage. It is on this foundation that we are going to build your steps.

step 1. never use the fact that you know he is going out with another woman to cause trouble for him at home. I know that this may be difficult, but remember that we are trying to see how he would be won back to you. One adage says that when you find yourself in a hole and you want to get out, then stop digging. Do your best to be more caring towards him now more than ever before. Don't forget that there must be somethings you were not doing right for him to start looking out of his marriage for emotional satisfaction in the first place.

2. As much as possible, don't report him to his friends. You can look for someone he respects; someone to whom he listens in time past; go to such a person to ask for him or her to help you find out what is wrong and how you can help to fix the problem.

3. As much as possible, don't go to the other woman's house to cause trouble. If possible, try to avoid any kind of confrontation with that woman who snatched your husband. If you make any trouble with her, she may end up inciting your husband against you in a way that would make it more difficult for the problem to be resolved.

4. Most importantly, you would need to give your life to Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal saviour. I believe that your faith in Christ would go a long way to strengthen your confidence and ensure that whatever happens, God is in control.

Please get back to me on whatever you discover as you take these steps i ask you to take. But i believe that the God I serve would give you the victory. But don't be deceived, it may take some time before everything comes back to normal. But i believe that all will be well in Jesus name. i look forward to hearing from you.

Rev Sam